Paar naljapilti ning mõned viited huumorikeskustele
Mis juhtub pensionile jäänud robotitega.
Tampooni reklaam
kampsun
A highway patrolman pulls alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he is astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel is knitting!
Realizing that she is oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranks down his window, turns on his bullhorn and yells, "PULL OVER!"
"NO," the blonde yells back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Anekdoot An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a three-day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
Päris hea
Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam question was: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following: "First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave. "Therefore, no souls are leaving. "As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. "With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. "Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant. [A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. [A2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. "So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during freshman year, that 'It'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true;.....thus, Hell is exothermic." The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
Prison vs. Work
In case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear....
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.
IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.
Päeva nali
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If a cow laughs hard enough, does milk come out its nose?
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Man Attempts To Return Walmart Ammunition At 1300 Feet per Second
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